For the past few days or so I noticed a struggle in our little Hal. Everything that she wanted to do it was nearly impossible for her to actually do it, in regards to doing what was right.
For the past few months Halley has also been talking with us about her need for Jesus and acknowledging Him as the boss of her life. Nate and I have prayed for wisdom as to whether it was just an emotional 'stage' or whether it was true desire and understanding of what it means to be born again. (I don't think I fully know the meaning and all the implications of salvation... however we didn't want it to be something that was merely 'popular' to do at this age.)
Anyways, after a pretty rough day yesterday she asked us the question “why can't I be good, and why can't I do what is right', and 'I hear Jesus telling me not to do it but I do it anyway'. She was understanding about her lost state and that she couldn't 'be good' in and of herself.
We prayed with her and Nate spent some time just sitting with her and asked her to pray all in her own words, whatever she wanted to say. Her prayer was so precious, so honest, so innocent and full of meaning. She was LOST and needed a Savior and KNEW it.
After sleeping on that emotional day she brought it up again the next morning. “Dad, Mom, I want to make God my boss. I know that Jesus died on the cross for my sins and I want my heart to be clean.
Right then we knelt down beside our couch in the living room and she asked Jesus to make her heart clean.
Later on that day she asked us sort-of under her breath, “So, is Jesus still in my heart, even when I have a bad attitude?” What an amazing opportunity to tell her of Christ's ever presence inside of her heart and life; now her capability to ask for forgiveness for her sins and to be made clean again. She was SOOOOO excited, (and when Hal gets excited, it's with lots of exclamation marks).
What a special day. I understand a little of what my parents meant when they would say, “it brings us no greater joy than when one of our children makes a wise decision, (or does what is right).” Just a glimpse of how God must feel when we choose His ways over our own. His love is so much greater than the love that I have for my children, and that's quite a bit.
Afterwords she wanted to call her little girl friends and tell them all about it. She called Grandpa's and Grandma's and a few other special people in her life.
One of her comments was, “Now, if I die I will go to heaven and be with Grandma”. Another piece of our conversation had to do with the fact that we (christians) will all be in heaven and so even if we die we will still be together.
